birds of the same feather FLOCK together.. don't forget the L

Got this compilation of UP profs' quotable quotes from a UP group. I just had to repost.

1. "The aim of policy making is to invoke
action! Because action speaks louder
than words! You do not just say I love you. You say:
If you love me, enter me! " -Dr. Alfonso Pacquing

2. "Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam
nyo. I am having a hard time
checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on
what to do about it.
Class don't worry about your grade. Let me worry
about it." Sir de jesus,envi sci 1

3. (valentines day)

"Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang
bababa ng scores niyo?
Siguro wala kayong date ngayong valentines kaya
ganito kayo. Losers!!!
When i was your age i had a
date. Hindi ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR
euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di kayo
masaya..." (sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa sahig)
"I won't record this. Go find a date."
(sabay walk out.) -Sir Doliente,BA.

4. Ma'am: Many people believe that we, psychology
graduates can read minds...
(silence) Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma'am: Right now, you think that I'm bluffin
-Ma'am Chei Billedo, Psych

5. "I don't give surprise long exams. all
exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!" -Ma'am
Chei

6. "The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala
kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag may
kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG!!! -Dr.
Recio

7. "Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket? aanhin
ko ba nun? di naman ako
yayaman dun." -Sir Atoy Navarro, histo I

8. (commenting on a thesis of a
senior student) 'Yang thesis mo? .. Mamamatay ka!!
Mamamatay ka!!' - Dr. llanes, UPM.

9. "Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube. Kaya
kung gusto niyong magka-anak
ng asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo habang
gumagawa." -Ma'am Meggie, Zoo 10

10. "Last sem was the first time that I gave a
grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first day of class


nung freshie ako:
atheist ako, pero pag nasa bahay, nagro rosary kami
ng Nanay ko, eh kung magalit sa kin yun.
--Socio 11 Prof


11. "you do not fall in love; you rise in love.
That's how you love rationally." --Dr. FG david


12. "Try to die! Try to die!" - sir billones,
on a student who is palpitating while taking the exam. He
claims that after incident refreshed na lagi yung
estudyante. If I know, pag naaalala ng
estudyanteng yun yung moment na yun,
kaya siya laging refreshed, kasi natatawa siya pag
naaalala niya iyon.

13. "Anong molars? You don't say molars because
it is an adjective! Do you say beautifuls?" - ma'am
ilao, to a student who said "n molars"

14. "Kahit magpakamatay ka pa di mo masasagot yang
problem set na yan dahil pang-157 (phy chem II) yan!" -
ibid

15. "Do not memorize! Analyze!" - doc nic,
advising us, her students never to memorize reaction
mechanisms

16. "Kaya nga ideal eh, hindi siya nangyayari sa
totoong buhay. Pero an approximation is good enough" -
sir engle, on ideal and real systems


17. "Don't take the BAR and yourselves too
seriously. baka mabalitaan nalang namin na nag-o-oral
summation kayo sa Luneta. O lumulutang-lutang sa PasigRiver. Enjoy
yourselves, relax, and read at least 15 hours a day.
Nakakabobo ang sobrang tulog. MAg relax ka habang nagbabasa. Magrelax
habang nagmi-memorize. "

18. "Pag nananaba ka sa oras ng exams, ibig sabihin
di ka papasa."

19. "Oh the BAR isn't scary. It's
terrifying. It might even kill you."
and the unforgettable: "Wow. Rape-able."
and "Stand up Miss ___ so that I might see the contours
of your body."

alternately encouraging and disheartening ang drama
nitong prof na'to.

20. Ito naman from our Prof. Ancient:
"Mga engineers? Nako. Bihira pumapasa sa
BAR."

"UP ka nag-undergrad? Bright ka ba?"

"Sa mga taga-UP lang ako bilib eh. Pagpasok nila
sa lawschool, hindi sila disoriented. Bilib ako sa study
habits na meron yang mga batang yan. Some of them look like
they eat kamote thrice a day, pero ang utak, di
ututin!" (ewan ko kung matutuwa ako dito o hindi)


21. sabi ng aming
dean who is 80 yrs old, "class your laughing now,
but i will predecease you all"


22. prof: O, meron na bang nakapunta sa inyong XXX
class: (tahimik)
prof: (medyo nadisappoint) Ano?! Puro na lang ba kayo
aral?
Aral na lang kayo ng aral, ha? Wala na kayong
napupuntahan kakaaral niyo!



same prof: Nakita niyo na ba ang Hooverdam?
class: (tahimik uli)
prof: Hehehehe, ang yabang ko talaga!


Second day of classes
Same Prof: (kinuha ang box ng colored chalks) Ano ba
naman ito... (tapos iniitsa sa lamesa yung mga dark colored
chalks)
class: (tahimik na nagmamasid)
Prof: Class, sulatan niyo ang manufacturer ng chalk
na ito, at sabihing tanggalin na ang mga walang kwentang
kulay na ito... brown, green, violet. hindi makikita ito sa
board. Convince them
class: (tahimik at gulat)

Prof: and .25 incentive sa final grade niyo!


23. terror prof after an exam (last day na din ng
class..): ok class.. see you next sem!


"Ateneo is not a university, it's a diploma
mill. Bakit ba nakangiti pa mga estudyante dyan kapag
lalabas sila ng gate nila, hindi ba nila nalalaman ang nami-miss
nila sa edukasyon?"


"The more wisdom you obtain, the more you shut
your mouth. This is because the more that you learn, the
more you realize that there are even more things that you do
not know. The true mark of an idiot is a loudmouth, the true
mark of a wise man is humility" --Paraphrased
galing kay PI100. best prof sa CAL.

24. "IE? Di naman engineering yun e" –Thesis adviser

25. Classmate: Ma'am, pwede po bang next week na kami
mag report?
Ma'am: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So
yes, pwede next week.


26. galing kay sir U eliserio during creative writing
class...
"try everything once except incest"

and one day pumasok ng room, galit na galit. hinagis
ang bag sa table, nagwawala sa harap ng room dahil hindi daw
nasagot ng previous class niya ang question niya.
kaya dapat daw masagot namin, ang makasagot may plus points.
kapag walang makasagot, lagot kami. ang tanong....
"class, sinong lalaking artista dun sa TV show na wonder years"?


27. "Mamatay na mangopya..." saka "Ang hindi maka-100, bobo!".


28. "im gay. so gay i could show you my penis
because it is but an accessory to my body"
-jean navera, spcm1


29. FIRST DAY OF CLASSES: "Kung may boyfriend o
girlfriend kayo na hindi taga-UP, hiwalayan niyo na agad.
Walang pupuntahan yan. Hindi kayo
magkaka-intindihan. Tapos yung mga anak niyo, magiging
bobo. Gusto niyo ba yun?" (si Avecilla malamang ito!)

30. ANOTHER PROF: "Hoy girls, wag kayong kukuha ng
boyfriend dito sa UP. Pare-parehas tayong mahirap dito.
Kumuha kayo ng mayaman. 80% of the child's
intelligence comes from the Mother naman eh. Kayo guys, wag
kayo kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo
anak niyo."

31. "Class, Chinatownis not in China. And Ateneo de
Manila University is not... a university."


32. STUDENT: Sir, pwede po magpa-sit in yung friends ko?
PROF: From what school are they?
STUDENT: St. Scho po.
PROF: "Go ahead. So they'll realize what
they're missing. St. Scho, St. Scho... eskwelahan na ba
yun sa inyo?!"


33. sa PHILO:
"I THINK THEREFORE I AM FROM UP!"


34. "Class, kaya mahal ang bayad sa mga professors
sa ibang school kasi ang bobobo ng mga estudyante dun. Dyuskoh,
I used to teach there... at lumuluha talaga ako ng
dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students yung sinasabi ko. Ang
mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga kakaulit ng
lessons! Wag na lang! Dito na ko sa UP, at least
nagkakaintindihan tayo. Diba?"


35. Dahil kami ang mga huling estudyante ni Dr.David at
mahal na mahal namin siya, nag-compile kami dati ng mga
quotable quotes mula sa kanya. Ito ang ilan:

"Meanings we find are the meanings we
make."
"WHAT YOU LEARN IN UP IS TO GO ON AND NEVER GIVE
UP. THAT IF THERE BE ONE PERSON LEFT STANDING, LET IT BE
ME. LET ATENEO FALL FIRST BEFORE UP..."
"The measure of a man is how many doors he has
opened to other people, especially to those he doesn't
know."
"To be born is to die. In between they grow and
multiply like flies. 6.2 billion people in the world.
Kadiri, ano?"
"Why not life? Why call it soul? Call a spade a
spade."
"Earth is the only heaven we can know."
"religion is a successful economic institution"
"Do not live long enough to be worthless."
"Domestication of the human male is one of the
greatest achievement of the human race."
"I do not know many. I only know enough to teach
my classes."


36. "We do not accept anyone here in class except
for those who are members of a certain minority group. For
example, gays are part of a minority group, bakla ka
ba? If you admit to this class that you are gay, then
I'll admit you"
-Prof "hail to the chair", to a guy student
na nagpre-prerog


37. "kapatid ng sinungaling ang magnanakaw.
"ergo, gma's marriage to mike arroyo is null
and void ab initio."

consti law class, 1st sem, AY 2005-06


38. "running for summa ka? mapapagod ka lang."


39. "Bilib ka kay Alan Peter Cayetano? E ambaba ng
grades n'un e!"

40. "Si Miriam, crush ko 'yun dati. Muntikan na
maging kami, kaso nasiraan ng ulo, kaya 'yun, iba ang
asawa ko."

41. "Class, gusto ko kayong i-train na mag-English,
so when you're here in class, magsalita kayo ng English!
Ako lang ang exempted dahil matanda na ako at ako ang
teacher!"


42. Ma'am Vitriolo (2nd to the last meeting)
Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.


43. more of Ma'am Ilao "Hindi mahirap makakuha
ng UNO sa class ko. Yung gumradweeeyt last year na Magna Cum Laude ng Biochem,
uno siya sakin sa Chem 18"


44. Sabi ng Prof ko dahil may kaklase akong recite ng
recite w/o raising her hand "I think this is the first time i have a student w/ tourette
in my class..."
Recite parin ng recite yung student "Wow the
ejaculatory comments just don't stop!"


45. from my socsci1 prof last sem: "Birds of the
same feather FLOCK together...don' t forget the L".


46. "I'll strangle you, strangle you really
hard, smack right in your jugular (pause ng mga 5 seconds),
you do know where your jugular is?"


47. "Be ready with your speech because I am going to
lambaste you!"
-namutla nalang yung classmate kong freshie after
hearing sir navera sa spcm 1 namin


48. 'bakit parang napakaligaya ng klase niyo? maging
sad naman kayo, 5 mins.' - prof ko sa math 100.


49. "well of course when you sell your soul you have
to make an elaborate justification to make yourself feel
good." -Sir Walden Bello, Socio 127,
this sem grabe ang galing ni sir bello. nakakaamaze.

50. "ano bang natapos mo? italian 8?"

"punyetissima! " (sosyal pati mura
italian!)

"look at me i'm 433 years old pero ang lakas
lakas ko pa. eh kung walang gulay eh di kakain na lang ako
ng damo. kung wala eh di tubig, kung wala mag-ipon na
lang ako ng laway."
-Sir Tiamson, Italian 11, this sem


51. When you graduate, then you begin to live.
-Dr. Carmen Jimenez, Psych 118


52. from Prof Soresca in my spanish 1 class
Prof:"Mr. Gatbunton, why are you late?!"
Student:"Sorry Mam, galing pa ako Las
Pinas."
Prof: "Ladies, don't marry somebody from Las
Pinas because they have bamboo organs!!"


53. "there are only two countries who still use
Fahrenheit.. the United States of America and Liberia... a
pathetic country in africa"

--Sir Argete


54. Marx is more Christian than Christ and Christ is more
Marxist than Marx. - Sir Lanuza.


55. May kaklase ako, may jowang taga Ateneo
"Ateneo? How could you love someone from the
Ateneo?"


56. sa geol11, ayaw mag-recite ng mga classmates ko..
sabi ni ma'am cathy "wag na mahiya, you have
nothing to lose but your face.."

57. si sir agapito..habang 2nd exam at malakas ang ulan..

"ang lakas ng ulan, ayos yan at least hindi
halata pag umiiyak.."


58. Class: Sir, sa exams po ba nagbibigay kayo ng partial
points?
Prof: Hmm, if I see partial wisdom.


59. "It's okay to smoke inside my class. As long
as you don't breathe it out." -Dr. Obsioma, Biodiversity

60. "Oh, this is good. It's poetic because
it's perfectly stupid." - Ricardo de
Ungria last week on my classmate's work.


61. Prof: Did I remind the class last meeting that
we're going to have an exam today?
Class: (dead air)
Prof: Ok, it seems I forgot to remind the class that
we're going to have an exam today. I'm giving you
five minutes then to buy a bluebook. We're going
to have an exam today.


62. sir tiamson (span 11)
"ayan, di ka makasagot. yung bakal sa ngipin mo
naapektuhan na yung pagsasalita mo"