finally, something to write about

i was thinking that this sembreak, i could get my creative juices flowing (friendster horoscope gave me that idea..i should have known it to be all goofus) and write plenty of blog entries, book reviews, you know, the usual deal, but I never knew 3 weeks of R&R could also mean 3 weeks of complete and utter boredom which is downright frustrating and unbecoming for a great mind like this one.hem hem. My brain has been lacking from any form of stimulation and I wonder if it hasn't deteriorated due to lack of use or even, abuse, for that matter, i tell you, any of the two would have been welcome. I had nothing to read, i realized that I finished reading all the books i borrowed in the thick of the exams, that left me with nothing for the semestral break. a whole stretch of time that could have been wisely spent leisure reading not opening the refrigerator every 5 seconds hoping something would pop up eventually, and fighting a losing battle against a stubborn headache you get from too much sleep knowing you are wholeheartedly supporting the cause. all the books at home I've already read like a gazillion times, even an Archie would have made my day, but not even that..gosh, you feelin' me? on top of all that, my TV broke down. I couldn't even have my television fix! my precious quality time glued to the tube was all wasted. where was civilization when I needed it? not in UPmin surely.

What the hell was I supposed to do?



blogging.

so I'm gonna write about..

..

..

..

[one eternity later] (as spongebob would say)

..

nothing..

nada..

null..

phi.

whichever yaya!

and finally this!

err..

what was I supposed to write again?

oh yeah..sembreak pa nga pala XD

screaming infidelities

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again,
There's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.

I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?
And when did your eyes
Begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew you were safely at home

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...
How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out

Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear


just symptoms of LSS..really

18 years worth of reflections

This already sounds too much like a high school paper so I'll try to spare you from all the crap, but then I still have to tell you my story, so here goes nothing..

I was born 11:58 pm on October 18, 1990.

I had a major operation at 9 months and a minor operation when I was 3. You can say that I'm a really lucky kid to survive all that. But I think, everyone's lucky to have me.

I kept most to myself when I was a kid, I loved puzzles and books.

My whole childhood was all smiles, I'm proud to say I had a happy childhood, happily boring that is to be told here, so I'm just breezing through.

I went to Matina Preschool and Values School for my primary education both schools we partly owned so I went there for free. I was a natural in school, I made everything look easy and boring. I graduated class valedictorian mostly because there were only 10 of us who graduated.

High school, I was in for a rude awakening. They said it was a jungle out there, and I got my jungle all right! And I sure made it into more of a jungle than it was supposed to be.

First year was a breeze. I never knew I was so good at socializing. I was popular, smart, everyone loved me, at least in my section. That was all that mattered in a school of 8000. You had all the social cliques right there in a class of 50 people. And in our case, we were much better off, being in the pilot section in our batch, everyone looked up to us.

The years to follow, I started taking crap from people and then I decided to fade into the murky background of my high school canvass. I gave up my stint in the student government, the science club, I like hell didn't care what I got for grades. That was when I got to know the greatest people I have ever met.

These were the best years, for the first time I could say that I was happy. I found my niche right there in a group so unlikely of me to be found in. We goofed around and slacked off on all our projects. My crowd entered a room and we owned it. We laughed our heads off, sing nonsensical songs with our own made up lyrics and exuded an aura of carefreeness.. if there never was such a word, then it would have been invented to describe us.We were accused of plenty of things, like being shallow and downright mean. But what was that I said again? Oh yeah. We really didn't care.

I had pretty good vantage from where I was at that point. I saw things for what they truly were, thanks to a good friend and mentor. I learned to spit at the face of convention, wave my middle finger and swear. And I found that this wasn't such a bad thing to do, given what we had, we were doing everyone a favor, getting them to snap out of all the prosthetic and the fake.

I got to do plenty of things that I loved to do, like singing. Ever since I can remember, I always got lost in the music. So I was glad that I got formal music education by singing in a choir. I looked up to our conductor, he taught me plenty of valuable lessons. He once told me to never stop singing because it's one of the things that you will continue doing in heaven. I never was one for talking about heavenly things but that got me into thinking.

There were times when ambition got in the way of my happiness but I got over that. And it just made me love life more.

Graduation came and some major disappointments. I was surprised at how I beat myself up for not making it to the list, considering what I've been doing, not even divine intervention can save me from with honors hell. I guess I just didn't want to disappoint my parents, but they never were disappointed in me, they knew I was good at what I do and I just ended up disappointing myself. They were always so proud of me and it sucked big time for not having given them even that to be proud of.

College years came and I needed a fresh start, everyone went their separate ways and I was suddenly on my own on this all new venture. I really needed to start from scratch, I didn't know anyone from the program I chose and I certainly didn't have anything to brag about my high school days except that I got 99+ on the NCAE, i guessed that ought to count for something, not everyone is equipped with the whole package up there, but then again, no one really took that exam seriously not even me.I slept through most of it. So, with one hand in my pocket and a scholarship slip on the other (a plus I didn't expect), I enrolled in UP.

I spent most of my first semester wandering around like a zombie, I never really was myself, and I missed everyone like hell. I was wondering where my old self went, the loud, and confident-verging-on-cocky one. I have always been such a klutz but still I was always so sure of myself. I was aware that I've become just an ephemeral presence, present in the closeup but not in the bigger picture.

A few semenders later and I finally warmed up to the idea that I got a bunch of friends here that do get me. And they just might be the best bloc in the world, might even be the best batch in the world that could have ever happened to me. And given that, I'm really thankful.

And that's what I've been up to the past 18 years, in general that is. I've had plenty of highs, done plenty of things you're not supposed to be proud of, but this is how I wanted everything to happen, letting the chips fall where they may, trying everything, just that for the most part, I am happy. If I hadn't known better, I would have made plenty of deletions, so easy like I did with parts of my writing today, but now I understand that with every moment gone, another chapter of my life has been published, and in reality, with no further editions.

birthday blast! XD

WAPAK!! yun na yung blast

now here comes the party

mga importanteng detalye:

very important indeed..

WHAT? birthday blast/ sem-ender
WHO? us! ralph, anj, mikko you! BIO
WHERE? forest hill! REN-DEZ-VOUS: sm village convenience store
WHEN? tomorrow!! 8..we don't like waiting
WHY? because it was meant to be
HOW? joyfully
HOW MUCH? 50-70 for entrance..sadly ni siya dili joyfully..huhu
WHY NOT? oo nga naman
WHAT IF? wala'y mangadto? maayo, kay kami lang mangaon
HOW COME? because the gods are crazy and the stars are blind, wise words from Ms. Hilton

boring question:

WHAT TO BRING:

• swimming outfit, wala'y cotton..tama ba?
• spoon and fork, plato at baso kung gusto niyo
• FOOD DONATIONS..dili siya mandatory
• aiai, lyle-cake, aidz-booze, kyle-ice cream, mon-junkfood, mark-bread..no further questions
  

can't come?!

since mag 18 na kami..

well here's 18 reasons why you should..

isa-isa lang mo oi..gara sad mo

NEIL: opportunity to flower (context clue..G?)
MON: opportunity to spread the love
LYLE: opportunity to " " "
CHA: opportunity to try (lol! dili daw siya sure na makaadto)
MARK: opportunity to hang
JOIE: opportunity to buy new sandals
AI2: opportunity to get Tan..you go white girl!
JAMES: opportunity to shopping
DOMS: opportunity to karaoke ourselves
KYLE: opportunity to make friends..awww kamo ba!
AIDZ: opportunity to
RENZ: opportunity to multiply
SHEARA: opportunity to allergy herself
LIANE: opportunity to liempo
LIEZEL: opportunity para maligo!!! haha.peace liz!
MARIA: opportunity na makauban
JULY: opportunity to grab
YURI: opportunity to GRUB!!!

life lesson: grab every opportunity as they come guys..oha oha!

and thus, my evil plans are not thwarted!!! XD

BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!! XD I like hell deserve that evil laugh over there. haha.. I passed organic chem!!! i could break into a jig right now! Woo! And you know what that means?..I'm guessing you don't..But I sure do know what that means..(insert evil sarcastic grin here) well, you'd need to have the workings of a sinister mind here to get those gears turning. they would need a bit of tweaking.BUWAHAHAHAHA!! XD


discard immediately.

and break

"we watch the season pull up its own stakes and catch the last weekend of the last week. before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced, another sun soaked season fades away."

Another semester has come and gone, for some of us, though, not including me, not just yet. I had my fair share of highs and disappointments. I'm relieved that it's almost over but somehow it makes me feel kind of sad for some reason and look back at how fast everything's gone. We had fun did we guys? haha..

"invitation only, grant farewells, crush the best one, of the best ones, clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight"

It's really too early too go all cheesy but bear with me because words and lyrics just happen to keep gushing out of my mind right now and I need to get it out before I start my relentless cramming for tomorrow's exam.

"and from the ballroom floor we are in celebration, one good stretch before our hibernation. Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well.."

Tomorrow. though in our case it isn't a ballroom but an exam room, bluebooks in hand, one more examination marathon stretch, but after tomorrow, all will be over. But I'm sincerely hoping that we'd have reason to celebrate after this.

And of course..sleep well..sleep well

"I watch you spin around in the highest heels. You are the best one, of the best ones. We all look like we feel.."

OBLE-DI OBLE-DA

.:. ANO’NG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
## - 55520

.:. NAKAPASA KA BA OR WAITLISTED?
pasado

.:. PAANO MO NALAMAN ANG ENTRANCE EXAM RESULT?
sa net.comp ed namin nun, biglang nagwala aking mga kaklase

.:. FIRST CHOICE MO BA ANG UP?
oo

.:. ALAM MO BA ANG UPG SCORE MO?
hindi. tsk tsk

.:. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
applied mathematics

.:. SECOND CHOICE?
foodtech

.:. ANO NAGING COURSE MO?
biology, pasado naman ako sa first choice pero bigla na lang akong tinopak at gusto ko nang magbio bago magpaenroll, at mabilis naman ako tinanggap sa registrar over the phone

.:. NAGPLANO KA BANG MAG-SHIFT?
hindi pa..haha

.:. NAKAPAG-DORM KA NA BA?
oo, for two semesters and record breaking aking number of offenses. so like twice ako naevict so kinailangan kong mag appeal. 2nd time, I didn't bother

.:. NAKA UNO KA NA BA?
oo

.:. NAGKA-3?
wala pa..hehe

.:. HIGHEST GRADE:
uno

.:. LOWEST:
2.75

.:. WORST EXPERIENCE SA UP:
had to spend the night right outside my boarding house because I didn't have a key. and that was before the cheerdance, so i really had my rest..boohoo

.:. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE?
oo, late, madalas pa talagang tulog

.:. ANO’NG ORG MO?
wala. ay bios pala

.:. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA?
oo, DOST

.:. PINANGARAP MO BANG MAG-CUM LAUDE?
oo, siguro, pero hindi pa ito naging sanhi ng drastic measures on my part (ang pangit ng aking filipino..hehe)

.:. KELAN KA NAGTAPOS?
hopefully, by 2011...

.:. FAVE PROF (s):
BOT 3 and MCB 1 teachers!

.:. WORST TEACHER (s):
wala pa naman..

.:. FAVE SUBJECT (s):
AH1, mga BIO subjects ko and MATH

.:. WORST SUBJECT (s):
my CHEM subjects, it really stemmed from this high school thing

.:. FAVE LANDMARK:
CSM Library para matulog, Mana Lydia and Wildlife para magtong-its

.:. BUILDING:
CSM syempre

.:. PABORITONG KAINAN:
Mana Lydia

.:. NOONG ESTUDYANTE KA PA MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
P7.00 papasok UPmin, P20.00 galing downtown. mahalaceous bitch

.:. LAGI KA BA SA LIB?
oo. perfect for power naps bago mag exam

.:. NAGPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC NUNG MINSANG NAGKASAKIT KA?
oo, humingi lang ng paracetamol

.:. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
ewan

.:. BF/GF?
wala...

.:. MAY BALAK KA BA MAG-MASTERS O MAG-PHD?
siguro, no plans yet, really

.:. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING PE MO?
Foundations for Physical Fitness. Table Tennis and Philippine Folk Dance, aerobics?!..woo!!

.:. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
great! good people

.:. NAKAPANOOD KA NA BA NG GRADUATION SA UP?
hindi pa.

.:. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG ALMA MATER SONG?
Oo. syempre naman, memorize ko nga mga kanta ni ms. hilton, up naming mahal pa kaya..

.:. MEMBER KA BA NG UP VARSITY TEAM?
hinde

.:. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
oo, mga tatlong beses..yabang! woo!

.:. ANO’NG AYAW MO SA FINALS WEEK?
exams.yung paisa-isang exam a day.aksaya sa pamasahe.. -tama marlou

.:. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER?
hindi na kailangan..haha

.:. ANO’NG GUSTO MO SA UP?
let me see, the freedom wall, the teachers, the people, the academic freedom

.:. ANO’NG AYAW MO?
ano ba? dorm? mga tao sa OSA?

.:. MAGANDA BA ID PIC MO?
hindi, lalo na yung second, buti nasauli ang nawala kong wallet ng isang napakabuting HH driver

.:. MAY GINAWA KA NA BANG ILLEGAL SA LOOB NG CAMPUS?
uhmm.. hindi pagsign-in and out sa dorm? wala. wala pa naman, maybe in the future

Kung ikaw ay naging Iskolar ng Bayan, malaya kang sagutin ang mga katanungang ito

feel

Come on hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living.
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given.

I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans,
My head speaks a language, I don’t understand.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins, going to waste.

I don’t wanna die,
But I ain’t keen on living either.
Before I fall in love,
I’m preparing to leave her.
I scare myself to death,
That’s why I keep on running.
Before I’ve arrived, I can see myself coming.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins, going to waste.

And I need to feel, real love
And a life ever after.
I cannot get enough.

I just wanna feel real love,
In a life ever after
There’s a hole in my soul,
You can see it in my face, it’s a real big place.

Come and hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living,
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given

Not sure I understand.